It’s sad... so sad

What is so, so sad, in this situation, is that sorry is disposable.
Sorry is not a hard word to say.
It is so very easy.
Sorry means nothing except a slight acknowledgment that something was wrong.
It is not ownership.
It is not repentance.
It is not heartfelt sorrow with a desire to make things right.
Sorry, especially, means nothing when it is followed by repeating the same behavior over, and over, and over, and over...
Sorry is cowardly simple.
It involves no humility.
Sorry greases foolish skids and manipulates the other that wants so badly to love.

You don’t “gotta do” anything to make someone love you, or to hear.
It’s absurd to think sorry is a magic wand that restores love or extends grace.

True love forgives.
While true sorrow (sorry) repents and asks for forgiveness.

When one loves, and is truly forgiven, there is real change.
Visible change.
From the inside out.

It is only my opinion, but the hardest word is truth.

And there simply is no love without it.

It’s a sad, sad situation.

For some...

Thy Will be Done...

You are God.
I am not.
I know you see me.
I know you hear me, Lord.
You know the plans you have for me.
Even though I do not understand.
Even though I cannot see it.
On my knees, all that comes to me...
is
Thy will be done.

Snow of the Soul

Face upturned.
Eyes open.
Then close.
The velvet shadow of the black sky opens and icy confetti dances down, exposed by the soft white of a lone streetlight.
Chilled kisses on my child's cheeks.
Mouth open, catching winter's bits.
She turns to me, giggling.
Mom!  Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom...!
Watch me.
Watch this.
See me?
Oh, isn't it beautiful?
If the sky could feel the warmth of my heart for this little thing, it would turn these crystals to a tropical rain.
Overflowing.
What a gift it is, to see through her eyes, to feel that same innocence.
Purity.
Her arms open wide, stretching.
Can I hug God, Mom?
Look, I'm hugging Him.
And He's hugging me back with the snow!

I remember feeling the exact same way, watching her older brother and sister as they experienced so many simple things adults tend to take for granted.

She tramps inside for her cocoa, cheeks flushed with cold, and a child's wonder.
No one is looking now.
I step out from under the eaves.
Face upturned.
Eyes open.
Then close.
And I feel the chilled kisses on my smiling cheeks.

Wonder.