Learning...

No longer what I was before,
but not all that I will be.
Here.
In the now.
Standing on the past.
Reaching for the future.
But fully present.
Here.

Change is hard.
First comes the choice.
Ownership.
No fingers pointing.
No blameshifting.
No excuse-making.
Accountable for MY choices.
Not those of others.
Owning MY reactions.

Self-awareness is a choice.
Holding one's conscience softly.
Listening.
Seeing, truly seeing.
Open to truth, no matter how painful.
Sometimes the dam has to break violently in order to release what's been trapped behind walls.
All the ugly, the bruised, the perverse...
Then comes the rebuilding.
Comes peace.
Comes healing.
Realization.
Growth.

Before myself, I stand or fall.
Before my God, I stumble humble and rise.

Ever.
Learning.